Learn to let go, advice for helicopter parents
Fri, 24 Aug 2012 07:21:52 GMT —
COLUMBIA (WACH)--Class is officially in session at the University of South Carolina.
After moving in, meeting new people and trying to get used to a home away from home, many first year students find themselves checking in with the parents
"Well she calls me every morning, but I talk to her probably every other day," says Cierra Grant, a freshman from Charleston.
Mikaela Mauldin, also a freshmen says "I've talked to my mom everyday since I've been here, she's texting me."
"My dad hasn't called me but he texts me. My mom calls me like 30,000 hours a day," says freshman Brittany Brayboy who's a long way from her home in the Lone star state.
But how much is too much?
When is time to tell mom and dad to back off on what's called "helicopter parenting?"
"You know I'm one of those parents. I've got a freshman this year. I've had two others so I can personally feel that and I can also see it from the university environment," says Jerry Brewer, Vice President of Student Affairs at USC.
Brewer says its okay to keep in contact but hovering over your young adults is not the right approach.
"Get to be more of a coach. You know the coach doesn't go on the field," says Brewer. "The coach might call a play, the coach might teach techniques, and talk with them and support but if I could suggest anything would be for the parents to say you know I'm not in the game now."
For example, Brewer reflects on a call he received from a parent about his/her child's football tickets and meal plan.
Brayboy says she's glad her mom checks in with her but, "sometimes I'm like mom I kind of need to do this myself."
Many colleges offer courses that help ease the transition.
Tabor Copeland, now a sophomore at USC, recounts her experience with University 101.
"It helped me like feel comfortable on campus. One of my best friends is living with me this year was in U101," says Copeland, â??and you really, you definitely should take that class. Itâ??s a great class."
The class gets students connected to those around them and become more independent. So donâ??t be surprised if you see daddy's little girl is all grown up once Fall or Thanksgiving Break rolls around.
Brewer says, "You know when they get that job I donâ??t think all of them are gonna work right around here. You know I had a daughter who went to San Francisco and gosh you talk about a three hour time zone and what you do there? Kept you awake at night but that's the way it goes. Your heart and soul and you've poured it into them for 18 or 19 years, it's hard but it's time for them to grow up now.